Beating Procrastination by Understanding Secondary Gains

Raise your hand if you procrastinate!  I can't see how many hands have just gone in the air, but I imagine its most of us.

Now keep your hand raised is you fully understand why you procrastinate.  I'm guessing there's a lot of stuff around not wanting to deal with complicated and lengthy tasks, or lack of confidence around ability to do the task or fear of consequences.

Its all normal. In NLP terms its called secondary gain. Its understanding that whatever it is that is stopping you doing something - emotionally there is some benefit in not doing. A classic example is the one about not starting the diet until tomorrow, simply because you want that piece of cake NOW! And you want it now because eating it is pleasant - it tastes good and makes you feel better.

Once you understand you reasons your can start to deal with them. Eating that cake makes you feel really good now, but long term would you feel better for loosing that extra 2lb? Perhaps you could associate some negative thoughts about the cake, rather than positive ones. Ask yourself if eating it brings you closer to your goal.

I wanted to write this post as a follow up to yesterdays. I hope it helps you, its made me hungry!!

The thief of time

We've all heard the phrase about procrastination - I know I do it. In fact its part of my daily routine. Let's face it I've been procrastinating for 5 years about taking this step in setting up my coaching business. I don't even want to think about how far into my business I could be had I taken this step 5 years ago. I have my reasons for it at the time and I have to accept that this is where I am here and NOW! and just deal with it.

I procrastinate daily, using all sorts of techniques to prove to myself that I don't. Let's face it - why exactly at work so I have 3 to do lists, a monthly one, weekly one, and a daily one - is it because I'm a super organised person and this helps me achieve my goals, or is it because it means that I spend the first ten minutes of every working day not starting that big task that I know is going to be troublesome. I'll let you decide!

Oh and don't get me started on action plans and why I have them?

Actually it all works for me, and I do achieve more as a result, but I still procrastinate at an alarming rate.

I googled it and found this.

Hope it helps.

Loosing Momentum

Things are falling back into place again. London Boss has said that London Office will cover any ad-hoc tasks that come up during the two days holiday that clash with the Barefoot Coaching Course when Boss is also off.

Barefoot Coaching are holding me a provisional place.



I have lost momentum trying to raise the capital for my course.


I have started to read the NLP workbook for Dummies. Probably not the most sophisticated NLP book, but a very nice straight-forward introduction to NLP - and it offers some great definitions. If I want to have this read before I go on my coaching course then I need to read 1-2 chapters a week.

NLP Cause and Effect

I've been reading about cause and effect in NLP.

Its a basic principle assuming that every 'Effect' has an underlying 'Cause'.

People operating in a 'effect' state are allowing actions outside of their control to effect them and therefore start to loose control of their situation. An example for me might be:

"Its my Boss' fault that I lack confidence"

If I were to change my state to "cause", I would acknowledge that I choose the state of no confidence. I can choose to be confident or choose to consider that just because Boss has given me feedback on one aspect of my work it doesn't mean I'm bad at my whole job.

Moving into the "cause" state gives you empowerment and choices.

Check out the link below if you want to understand more about it.

http://www.skillstoolbox.com/CauseAndEffect.php

Square Pegs

I've been very unsettled. My head's been telling me something different to my heart for a while. A square peg in a round hole. I've been talking about a complete career change for some time but I've not really known how to go about it. I've made half hearted attempts at trying to find out what I want to do and taken a couple of courses, but if I want to follow my heart then that means significant change and that's been scaring me.

My confidence at work (in a boring office - financial services industry) had dropped to an all time low - when I decided I needed to do something about my rut. Just over 12 months ago I found myself a coach at work, and she has been an inspiration. Our sessions have enabled me to pick up my shattered confidence and deal with the voices in my head that have been telling me "I can't".

In our last session, she tried an NLP technique called "parts integration". I tend to over analyse a lot and I didn't expect it work. But it did - big style and this is the start of my journey. One that I don't know where it will lead and one that I hope you will journey with me. Over the next few weeks I intend to diarise my journey to date and then together you can join me as my future unfolds.