Looking Back - NLP preferred types

Another looking back post, following my journey to date, this follows on from last weeks post about getting a coaching sponsor.

Coach gave me an NLP exercise to do. A short personality questionnaire type of thing. I love doing stuff like that.

This is a link to a fun questionnaire
http://www.everydaynlp.com/Free-NLP-Assessment.html

It told me I am Kinaesthetic. – Touchy Feely. To communicate I need to be much more hands on than some people.

The following are typical of a Kinaesthetic Preference
• speak slowly
• respond to physical rewards
• touch people to get their attention
• stand close when talking to someone
• are physically oriented and move a lot
• have early large-muscle development
• learn by manipulating and doing
• memorise by walking and seeing
• use a finger as a pointer when reading
• gesture a lot
• can't sit still for long periods of time
• can't remember geography unless they've actually been there
• use action words
• like plot-oriented books, reflect action with body movement as they read
• may have messy handwriting
• want to act things out
• like involved games

It appears that Boss is more Visual. I can recall him using the phrase “can’t you see why………”

This appears to be why we have little understanding for each other.

If you try the test, I’d love to know what you are.

Looking Back - Dealing with the sponsor

This is the next installment looking back over my journey to here. It follows on from the  looking-back-coach-transfer post.

My new coach suggested we did things properly. This meant having a sponsor. A sponser being Boss. The idea behind this was to make sure that both he and I bought into the same reasons for the coaching and could work towards the same goals.

I ummed, I arrred and I ummed again. Then I decided to bite the bullet. What had I really got to loose?

So at my next monthly appraisal I raised the topic. Boss didn’t really pretend to understand, but knows that as my manager he is expected to support my persona; development and I guess to some extent that he saw that whatever time I spent doing this was effort that he didn’t need to put in.


So coach, Boss and I sat down and talked about me. I was amazed how clued up Boss was. He’d made some observations about me that where quite startling. The phrase he used was Snowdrop sees herself as a square peg in a round hole.


He’d completely hit the nail on the head. I knew that’s how I saw me, but I couldn’t believe he could see it too. God! I must be transparent

Looking Back - Coach Transfer

Its a while since we looked back at my journey and how I got to where I am now. So following Looking Back - Coaching People here's the next installment.

I’d only had one session with my coach, when she contacted me to say she was leaving the organisation and as such our coaching would have to end.

What a disappointment!!!! This seems typical of what happens in my life.

She did however say to me that she knew of someone who had just finished their coaching training and would have a vacancy for some new recruits.

I knew the girl from way way back and had always found her pleasant. So I agreed with a little hesitancy. It was not because of who she was but because changing coaches right now was not on the top of my agenda.

Looking Back - Coaching People

Its been a while since I posted one of my looking back posts, so I thought you might like to see the next stage of my journey. Previously I talked about the Coaching for Success course

I loved coaching those few people. In all I coached 4 people. It seemed that although each one of them very different individuals, all four of them had deep routed confidence issues. But each one had to be handled differently.

M was in a new job and thrilled to be there. Yet she was coming up against people and situations that she didn’t know how to deal with. I expected that we needed to explore some confidence tricks. She shocked in one session. She stated she’d realised as a result of our sessions that the job wasn’t what she wanted and she was going to speak to her manager about going back to her old job.

OMG! I was horrified. Had I done this? Was her manager going to come after me with an axe?

Actually what happened was her manager was very sympathetic and listened to and helped resolve some of the issues she was facing, giving her the support she needed. She’s still in the job and very happy too. And she gave me some great feedback.

I guess what actually happened was that the coaching allowed her to explore what was in her control to deal with. And she dealt with it in the way she needed to which was having a very frank discussion with her manager. Without the coaching she might never have faced it.

It made me proud!

See previous looking back post

Looking Back - Coaching for Success

Coaching for Success

About 3 years ago, a fellow Springboard helper told me about how she had been trained by my company as a workplace Coach…..

Workplace coaching she told me, is not about showing someone how to do a task, its about helping people to make their own decisions and solve their own problems.

I was instantly hooked. This sounded just like what I wanted to do, and my company were training people to do it.

When I got back to my desk I excitedly looked up the information on the company Intranet, rang the relevant people, and yes, I could do it, but before they paid for me to attend the full course, they’d prefer I did an introductory course (3 days) called “Coaching for Success”

I went back to my office, advertised for willing volunteers and successfully completed the practical element of the course – yippee.

In the 6 months this took. My company changed the rules. As I am not a line manager, I would not be permitted to attend the full corporate coaching course nor would I have been eligible for the 3 day course. Phew I’d got in just in time, but what a disappointment!!!!!

See previous looking back post

Springboard Women's Development for India: Women's Development Workbook

Looking Back - Springboard Support

A couple of years ago, I got a telephone call from HR at work. If you remember I attended Springboard (women’s development course) through work.

“Did I want to be a Springboard Helper?” Of course I did. It’s a simple role. The Springboard program is run by an outside consultancy. Patricia Cresswell is not available between workshops to support the delegates, so I needed a half day training course and to attend some of the 4 day of workshops.

I found it very fulfilling and have done it annually ever since. The delegates very rarely need the support but I am happy to provide any help I can.

It was during a Springboard workshop where a fellow Springboard helper told me about how she had been trained by my company to be a workplace Coach……….

See previous looking back post


.Springboard Women's Development for India: Women's Development Workbook

Looking Back - Counselling Skills

When I look back at how I got here, the next opportunity following the A level in Psychology was an introduction to counselling skills course run at the local college. This was much more akin to what I had expected of the psychology course - Practical skills that can be used in normal life or in a professional environment.

The students were a mixed bunch (many of them were in need of counselling – so it made for good practical sessions), but I got lots out of the course. Much of it was inward looking.

As an introduction to counselling skills course it was not designed to make a counsellor out of me. Just give me enough to make the next step to train as a counsellor.

I work full time. The counselling course required an afternoon and an evening a week. That would have been manageable if I could shift my hours around at work. But working in the financial services industry didn’t give me the necessary practical hours I would need. Many of the delegates were already working for charities or paid employment where counselling was seen as an advantage. I would need to take on some voluntary work too. I decided that it was too difficult to fit the hours in my week without giving up some of my leisure time or sacrificing salary. Looking back, I could have done it if I really wanted to.

See previous looking back post

Looking Back - Psychology

When I was stuck in my job knowing I was a square peg, I knew I wanted to do something different. I’m the sort of person who has an enquiring mind. I always want to know what makes people tick.

Why do they do what they do?

How does that impact on me?

What would happen if they had handled if differently?

Psychology seemed to be the answer. I’d been wondering about it and there was a course at my local college for an A level. A chance conversation with a colleague established that she fancied doing it to and hey presto! I had a comfort blanket to take to college with me.

It wasn’t what I expected. It’s a very theoretical topic. Looking back I wonder if I expected practising on fellow students with a big black couch. I guess not.

Still, I saw it through and to my credit I have a grade ‘B’ ‘A’ level in Psychology, but I knew I didn’t want to pursue this any further.

See previous looking back post

Looking Back - Downward Spiral

The latest in a series of posts exploring how I've ended up where I am.

Once you’ve fallen from your tree, its hard to pick yourself up again. I found myself in a downward spiral. Every mistake I made, no matter how small would become major. I’d beat myself up about it, make myself feel bad. Then I’d worry about doing something in case I made a mistake. In case someone found out that I’d made a mistake. They might discover that I’m an impostor, pretending to do the job. I couldn’t really do the job could I? the more I worried, the more I panicked, each individual task became a major event and in my panic, I’d find myself making more mistakes.

See previous Looking Back Post

Looking Back - Falling Out of my Tree

When I took that job 10 years ago – everything changed. I’d been top of my tree for a long time. I knew everything I could know about my old job, I could do it backwards AND standing on my head. Suddenly I found myself starting from scratch, learning new things. It challenged my brain in a way I’d not been challenged for a long time, and I found it very hard.

I don’t know when and how it started, but I began to loose confidence. Maybe I made a mistake and took it to heart. I can be very hard on myself at times. But I started to loose confidence. My boss didn’t help. He’s a nice guy, but by his own admission his skills don’t lie with people. He finds it hard to encourage, motivate and support.

I’d fallen from the top of my tree

See previous Looking Back Post

Looking Back - The Interview

It was about ten years ago and the interview was the worst I’ve ever had. I struggled with the questions and found the interviewer both challenging and demanding. I walked out of the interview thankful that I had failed and with a belief that I could not do the job. Imagine my surprise when I was offered the job. So much so that I needed to take time to consider the opportunity.

Leaving everything I knew behind was a big risk, and really scary, but here lay an opportunity for something new, a change in direction, learning new skills, a pay rise AND not having to work Saturdays into the bargain. They were taking a big risk on me too, but they were the ones who knew what they were doing.

I took the job!

See previous looking back post

Looking Back - Taking a step back

20+ years ago, I took a job within the financial services industry. I was more or less straight from school and had very little confidence. The company turned out to be a fantastic employer and I got an opportunity to work with the public for several years. I enjoyed (almost) every minute of working with the public, and blossomed. I had found my niche. It’s a time I look back on with found memories, the people I worked with, the public and the fact that this was a time when I had CONFIDENCE. I could do the job standing on my head and was good at it.

Around ten years ago, I found myself wanting more, a career perhaps, but didn’t really fancy managing a sales team. An internal vacancy came up for something quite different, analytical. I enjoyed thinking and solving problems, it seemed ideal and I applied.